Still Just a Child
by eclosion
Summary: roy comforting ed. not meant to be shonen ai, but it is sweet. spoiler for episode 7.


So…

My first attempt EVER at writing any type of fanfiction.

Read and review is greatly appreciated. Thanks.

Disclaimer: Full Metal Alchemist and its characters are copyrighted and NOT mine.

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**Still Just a Child**

The door opened, then clicked shut quietly. I thought it was Hawkeye, coming in to give me another pile of papers that I'd neglected for too long. As it was, I was already buried under stacks of them so high I could barely see the door if I tried.

"R.. Roy?"

The voice was tentative, young. I looked up from my papers to see a little blond boy standing in my office. Whenever this happens, I never recognize him immediately. Meek is not a word you would normally use to describe the Fullmetal Alchemist. He'd probably try to take your head off if you even suggested it.

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The first time it happened, I had not expected it. It was late and everyone had gone home for the night. Hawkeye and I had been attending to business outside of the office, and I needed to go back there for a minute to collect my things. She had looked tired, so I told her that she didn't have to accompany me. I got a grateful smile in return. I know she loves me. I love her, too. We'd never admit it though, not in words. We're not in a position to indulge something like love.

When I came into the outer office, I hung up my coat before continuing on to my personal office. I paused with my hand on the doorknob; I could hear someone inside. My first though was that someone had broken in, but that wasn't what the sound was. It was too… small. It wasn't the sound of someone rooting around in my files.

As I turned the knob, the noise abruptly stopped. I stepped into the unlit office and paused. It was dark, but not dark enough to miss the figure crouched on the floor at the end of the couch.

"Who's there?" I asked without turning on the light. I was fairly sure I wasn't in any danger, but I was still on edge.

The figure didn't answer me, but it did rise from its position.

"I said, who's there?" I demanded more loudly.

There was a pause, and then…

"It's me, Colonel."

Of course, I knew the voice. I heard it every day, usually taunting me, or screaming about one thing or another. Tonight, it was different though; tonight, it was somewhat… diminished.

"And what, may I ask, are you doing in my office, Fullmetal?"

Another pause before…

"I…"

My eyes hadn't adjusted to the darkness until now, and it was hard to notice at first. Actually, I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me at the time. It's strange to find someone you usually see acting strong crying pitifully in a corner. But that was how I found Edward Elric that night.

I could see now that he also had a scowl on his face. First I thought he was scowling because I had caught him crying, but now, I think that he was scowling to keep himself from starting to cry again.

"Is there some sort of problem?"

I think his eyes went a little wide at the suggestion. Of course, I knew something was wrong. Today, we'd found out that the Sewing Life Alchemist had transmuted his daughter and dog into a talking chimera, and then someone had splattered her all over the wall of a back alley. I knew Edward was upset about it, but I didn't expect this.

I watched as he stared into space, nothingness. His eyes were turned on the floor, but they saw right through it. They were probably seeing that little girl, turned abomination, burned to a cinder, with the imprint of her entrails seared on the wall. He didn't know how to answer me, how to explain. His mouth opened and closed a few times with aborted attempts at an explanation. When that failed, he reached out a hand and grabbed at the air a bit, maybe trying to pull the words out of it.

I was still staring at him with a scowl on my face, but now the scowl wasn't for him. It was for me. I hadn't seen it before because he wouldn't let me. Probably, if I hadn't walked into my office tonight, I would never have seen it. But now, I finally realized… I was looking at a child, a twelve-year-old boy, who had just seen the gruesome murder of a friend and couldn't understand it. Until now, he had been a state alchemist to me, just another member of the military under my command.

Now, he was a child though, without a father, or a mother. The only family he had was a younger brother who looked up to him and expected him to be in control, to know what to do. At this moment though, he was at a loss, and there was no way he could let other people seen him like that. So, he'd snuck away to the last place Alphonse would expect him to go willingly: my office. Since everyone appeared to be gone for the night, he could cry here, where no one would see. He could try to work out what it was he was feeling inside, but it seemed that he wasn't having much luck.

I sighed quietly

"Ed, horrible things will always happen."

"But—it's not fair!" he said as he whipped his head around and looked at me with wide, horrified eyes. They were wet and red, with tears streaming down his cheeks.

I walked over to him, and put a hand on his shoulder.

"I know," I whispered softly.

I think he stopped breathing for moment when I said that. He was looking at me, still with that blank, horrified expression, and then finally his eyes focused. The next thing I knew, he had two fists full of my uniform front, and his forehead pressed against my chest. I was surprised for a moment, but then I think a sad smile made it onto my face.

_Just a child…_ I thought to myself as I wrapped my arms around his shoulders.

He cried into my shirt for a good hour at least, yelling questions and obscenities that I could barely understand. A few of them were directed at me, I know because I heard my name a few times, not my rank, but my name.

After the crying and the screaming, he just went still. My legs were getting tired, so I attempted to sit on the couch and pull him down after me. However, his hands had such a deathgrip on my shirtfront that I ended up falling down with him falling on top of me. I adjusted so that he was practically curled up backwards on the couch, sitting to the side of me.

"Edward?" I tried.

There was no answer from the pathetic bundle in my lap.

"Ed…?"

"… I… I'm s-sorry," he choked on the words and started to cry a little again.

"It's not your fault."

It was late before we finally left. He didn't say a word again, and I drove him home in silence.

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After that, he would come to me, not often, but whenever there was something he couldn't handle normally, something he needed to cry about.

Now he was standing in front of me, a young man of sixteen, but still a child. Maybe these were the only moments when he felt like he was allowed to act his age. It's also the only time he ever calls me Roy.

I got up quietly from my seat and walked past him to the door.

"Take a seat, Ed."

He does as he's told and I slide the lock shut on the door. I make my way to the couch and sit down beside him throwing an arm around his back as he buries his face in my shoulder. His shoulders shake with quiet sobs. No time after the first was ever as bad. He's much quieter about it now, especially during the day like this.

Twenty minutes later he wipes the tears off of his face and looks at me. He never says anything anymore, just looks at me. I nod to him so he knows that he looks collected again and then he leaves.

We never talk about it, because he doesn't want to and because I know he doesn't want to. The next time we see each other, there will probably be a yelling match. I'll make a joke about his height and he'll threaten to kill me. But it's all just an act between us. There's no hate here, no matter what others may think they see.

He'll probably always come and cry on my shoulder, and I'll always let him.


End file.
